Treason

Treason: what is it and how to recognize it?

Treason: what is it and how to recognize it?
Content
  1. What it is?
  2. Causes
  3. Signs
  4. How should we relate to this?
  5. How to survive?
  6. Can you forgive?
  7. Can you prevent it?
  8. Psychologist's advice

The relationship between people is diverse. Feelings such as love and hate are always there. No wonder they say that from love to hate - one step. These two feelings can change their places in the soul of a person, first of all, when betrayal occurs.

What it is?

Cheating is cheating. And it can be present in all areas of human life. This concept is especially common when it comes to the relationship between the sexes.

Betrayal violates all the laws of honest relations between a man and a woman. Where is the line between betrayal and fleeting passion, no one can answer. Each person makes all the conclusions for himself.

For example, love breaks out between two close people, which develops into something more - a relationship of souls. Cheating on one partner makes both unhappy. This happens because one of them decides to be unfair with the other.

The result is a deception that cannot be experienced easily and freely. The harmony of feelings is violated, which leads to a break.

Different people cheat in different ways. For some, infidelity is not considered treason if it was of a one-time nature. Despite this, this manifestation will never become the norm. None of the decent people will accept the fact that he was betrayed.

By the way, men and women have different views on this factor. The former believe that male infidelity does not pose any threat to their family. Some members of the stronger sex seriously equate their vicious relationships with negative habits, like smoking and drinking.Non-drinkers and non-smokers justify themselves by saying that this is their only drawback.

Such a consumerist attitude towards a woman cannot be justified by anything. If a wife allows her husband to behave this way, then this is her personal right. But this behavior is contrary to all the canons of human existence.

Women cheat on their faithful no less than men. But here you need to make a reservation. A certain percentage of them do this out of revenge, trying to prove to their husband that he is not behaving the way they would like.

To put it bluntly, then not a single decent woman will commit treason if her companion is rich, polite, handsome, family man, does not drink, does not smoke. Therefore, this issue must be approached in more depth if we want to find out the reasons for female infidelity. So why do women and men still have a desire to commit betrayal, let's figure it out.

Causes

They can be different. How many people, so many reasons. But you can classify the prerequisites that lead to treason. Let's try to break them down point by point.

  • Let's start with the banal. A girl does not marry for love. Certain circumstances made her take this step. At the moment when she made this decision, it seemed to her that everything "will endure - fall in love." But no, the human soul has properties that do not obey a sober mind. After some time, she met the man of her dreams. Of course, in this situation, no one will be able to give himself the order to love or not love this or that person. As a result, there was treason and, as a result, the destruction of the marriage.
  • Another point. At first, everything was fine in family relationships. But over time, conflicts began. The spouses began to move away from each other. One of them met a person who was closer in spirit. He seemed more attractive to him. The marriage was soon destroyed.
  • Some of the spouses do not have enough attention all the time. For example, a woman is trying to make her appearance flawless anyway. Against this background, she is also a good housewife and a self-sufficient person. And the husband point-blank does not notice all these qualities, but, on the contrary, also reproaches her for the slightest offense.

The wife's patience can burst at any moment. And at this time, there will definitely be someone who will see all the qualities and advantages of an offended woman. Cheating is inevitable in this case.

  • The couple have been living together too long. Children are adults, but there are no common interests. The emotional situation in the house suggests that the husband and wife have become completely strangers. To check if this is so, one of them decides to cheat. After which it turns out that, indeed, it is time to free each other from family obligations. But this is not always the case. The situation may turn around and go according to a different scenario. Cheating will create stress, emotional shock. The result will be reconciliation of the spouses, and they will heal in a new way.
  • Social media is driving an increase in cheating. Many people have their own personal accounts. Some of them communicate with former acquaintances and classmates. Among them may be former lovers. And there is no guarantee that forgotten feelings will not flare up between them again.

This is usually how it starts. First, there are conversations about how they settled in life, and then warm memories begin. In this case, treason is just a stone's throw away.

  • It's hard to imagine, but it also happens that some just want sex. It is for his sake that they are ready to forget about family and children. After such actions, repentance comes, but if relatives find out about this, then the reckoning will be very high. It will take a lot of work to rehabilitate the relationship between spouses.
  • And one more "trifling reason" is alcohol. In a state of intoxication, a person cannot think adequately. Naturally, those feelings that a normal person suppresses in himself take over. When consciousness does not meet the requirements of decency, then such negative manifestations occur.The price to pay for this may be too great. Therefore, those who have poor control over themselves after drinking alcohol need to be especially careful.
  • Big difference in age also plays an important role in shaping the mood for treason. This does not happen immediately. When a man and a woman meet, where one is much older than the other, then at first everything is perfect. An older partner protects his love. But time passes, and age begins to affect all areas of life. First of all, this is sexual attraction, then comes the versatility of views and beliefs. The result is a complete mismatch of personalities, since a significant age difference between spouses is, by and large, unnatural.

Signs

Recognizing cheating is not easy. Some unfaithful spouses hide their relationship in such a way that even an experienced special agent cannot break it. Everything is serious there: passwords, apartments, attendance. Usually, such connections have not been publicized for a long time, and some of them become completely undisclosed.

If both cheating parties do not seek to make a large circle of people aware of their relationship, then they will do everything possible and impossible to hide the betrayal.

No wife or husband will suspect her soul mate of betrayal if she is careful in everything. Yes, this is very difficult, but in some way it justifies unfaithful husbands and wives.

In spite of everything, such "gulen" strive to keep the family together. Therefore, for the sake of peace in the family and for the sake of children, they strive not to advertise their life outside of marriage. Praising them for this, of course, is not worth it, but this is at least some way out of the situation.

It's another matter when clear evidence of treason appears. And here's what you need to pay attention to.

  • The other half began to monitor their appearance with particular care. And this applies to both men and women. What in this case is worth paying attention to: lately your husband (wife) has been especially interested in personal hygiene, a strong smell of perfume or cologne emanates from your loved one, an ideal hairstyle is done every day, and so on. It all started suddenly, and this had never happened before. Take a closer look at your companion.
  • Flirting is another sign. It can show up for no reason when you are in a familiar company. Your companion (s) behaves defiantly, all the time drawing attention to himself. This does not mean at all that the object of adoration of your spouse (ha) is nearby. It's just that at a time when a person is in a romantic relationship, he behaves this way because of a slight increase in hormonal levels, or he gets excited.
  • Coldness in sexual relations - this is a clear sign that your partner is cheating on you. The unfaithful spouse has a double life. In one, your soulmate is a faithful and loving person, in the other - a passionate lover (tsa). Such people have enough experiences, and they easily refuse unnecessary ones.
  • Nervous behavior can also indicate that your partner is cheating on you. You simply began to annoy him due to the fact that he had a new object of adoration. It seems to him that you are doing everything on purpose to make him angry.

Constant negative emissions can provoke aggression on your part. The course of events can be predicted in advance. Relationships will decline, or may even stop altogether.

  • Your wife or husband is acting suspiciously. Frequent delays at work, looking scared when asking leading questions. Everything suggests that you need to think about the problem that has arisen. Many cheating partners start hiding their phone so you can't track their calls and private messages. Perhaps you are too carried away with your suspicions, but a check in this situation does not hurt.

These are just some of the more pronounced signs to look out for.If you know your husband or wife quite well, then you yourself will be able to see changes in behavior that are peculiar only to your loved one.

How should we relate to this?

There is no and will not be a clear answer to this question. Of course, there is nothing good in the betrayal of a loved one. And if you judge one-sidedly, then you can only give one piece of advice - to get a divorce.

But we all understand that in our life there are different situations that do not allow us to act directly and unconditionally perform the right actions.

If you are strongly attached to your husband or wife, love to madness and do not want a divorce, then you should think about it and listen to the advice of a psychologist.

You can put up with treason when you cannot imagine life without a person close to you. In this case, you should not push him into a frank conversation and try to bring him to the "clean water".

So you risk losing your love forever. Perhaps he (she) will turn around and leave with the words: "Since you know everything, then I don't need to explain anything to you." If you are afraid of this turn of events, then proceed with caution.

In this situation, you should not commit scandals and tantrums, demand loyalty and honesty. If the spouse did not "slam the door" right away, then where is the guarantee that he (she) will not leave after the next scandal.

If you feel that your husband (wife) is tormented and does not know what to do, then it is better not to make sudden movements. Pretend you don’t know, continue acting as if nothing had happened. Even try to increase your focus towards your spouse.

Speak affectionate words, flirt and look after your appearance. This behavior will definitely contribute to the fact that your significant other does not dare to leave the family.

It's another matter when drastic measures are needed so that the spouse admits his mistake.

First you need to catch the unfaithful husband (wife). The unfaithful partner must realize that he has done a very bad deed. Otherwise, betrayal will become a habit. It is not necessary for a husband (wife) to be punished too heavily.

You can just talk to a loved one and explain that his actions are damaging your family reputation. If you have a relationship of trust, things may work out.

The standard of marriage has always been the loyalty of both spouses. Therefore, you need to urge your partner to behave correctly in relation to you. To do this, you need to rely on your thoughts and desires.

You need to understand that it is not enough just to calculate the betrayal. After this happens, you need to clearly know what to do with this fact and how to proceed. There is one simple answer to this - it's up to you to decide. If you decide to forgive, then forgive and never regret it.

If you understand that you cannot come to terms with the betrayal of a loved one, then you should file for divorce.

How to survive?

Little is known about what the other half is cheating. After that, you need to understand how to survive the pain of betrayal. Therefore, follow your inner voice, it will never deceive you. And start working on the problem.

  • Don't get hung up on what has been cheated on you. Destroy all negative memories and experiences that you endured when you learned about the betrayal of a loved one. Erase the very fact of treason from your head. It will be easier to do this when you feel that your partner is deeply remorseful.
  • Do not reproach yourself with cowardice and the fact that you are doing something wrong. You go to the call of your heart and in this you are absolutely right. Nobody can judge you for your actions.
  • Do not listen to advice that "well-wishers" are trying to give you. They can not always help, and some can only harm. Remember that judging from the outside is much easier than experiencing a problem in your soul.
  • Don't take revenge. Be taller. Do not be angry, because anger is a bad advisor and has never helped anyone.Because of the negativity, your problems will only grow like a "snowball".
  • After the betrayal of a loved one, my soul is very bad. To avoid depression, engage in distracting and positive activities. Sports activities are the best. On the treadmill or in the stadium, you will meet like-minded people.

New acquaintances and general hobbies will distract you from obsessive thoughts.

If you are reading this paragraph now, then you should understand that deep down you still hope that your relationship will not fall apart. If you decide to forgive cheating and make peace with your spouse, follow a few steps.

  • When you are next to your soul mate, try not to reproach him (her) once again with betrayal. Believe me, your loved one worries no less than yours and is trying with all his might to improve relations.
  • Walk together a lot, visit and demonstrate your reconciliation.
  • Get involved in a common business, for example, start saving money to buy an expensive item that you need and that will delight both of you.
  • Be sure to involve children in various family gatherings and activities. This will only strengthen your marriage.
  • Start a joint renovation in your apartment or initiate a construction project at the dacha of some object in the form of a gazebo. Subsequently, you will arrange joint gatherings there.
  • Spending time separately can also help you quickly adapt to reality. Let one of you go fishing, and the other does household chores. In the evening you will meet and have a joint dinner, where the ear will become a signature dish.

    You can forget all the grievances when there is a mental attitude to it. Nobody can solve your problems for you.

    Can you forgive?

    Treason is betrayal. The psychology of treason is as follows: the closest person betrayed you, and this makes it even more painful.

    There is definitely no forgiveness for cheating. No explanation can justify this action. Such an attitude towards oneself should not be tolerated. The world is collapsing before our eyes and it seems that everything, life will never be the same.

    However, it’s worth saying to yourself “stop”. Pull yourself together! Sobbing and groaning will not make you feel better. On the contrary, you will further aggravate your condition. Nothing is worse than death. Anything that is not connected with it can be corrected.

    To forgive or not to forgive - it will depend only on your desire, character and attitude. The moral side is irrelevant here. Under certain circumstances, a loved one can be understood, despite the fact that he is very guilty in front of you.

    Of course, if your companion (s) has broken the vow of loyalty more than once, then you should think deeply about continuing the relationship. Although in this case it is impossible to judge unambiguously. Moreover, if this is not the first time you have let everything down "on the brakes", it means that you have already adapted to this turn of events in your life.

    Is it worth it then to change the way of your coexistence - since you forgive your loved one all the time, it means that this person is dear to you.

    Perhaps he has other qualities that are able to "outplay" such a negative side as systematic betrayal.

    In no case should you judge yourself for such behavior. No one has the right to do this both from relatives and from your acquaintances. This is your destiny, and only you can decide what to do in a given situation.

    If you are not tired of suffering, it means that it does not cause much damage to your psyche. In this case, there is only one advice: fight for your happiness, despite ridicule and condemnation.

    Normal people will not laugh at other people's mistakes. If someone is trying to judge you, it means that he himself is not all right in his personal life. And the opinion of a loser shouldn't interest you.

    It also happens that a person made a mistake once and was immediately caught. He really wants to fall on his knees in front of you and apologize.But your pride does not allow your chosen one to wholeheartedly ask for your forgiveness. From this you yourself are tormented and torment your other half.

    Why is this suffering? There is one simple rule to be a happy person: if you really want to do something, then do it. Otherwise, you will later regret the missed opportunity for the rest of your life.

    Nobody knows how fate will develop further. Maybe you are "blinded" from the insult and are not able to see how your loved one is suffering. That's why be sensible - do not resist your sincere desires and impulses.

    Can you prevent it?

    There is no definite answer to this question, as in the previous cases. Spontaneous betrayal cannot be foreseen in advance and, naturally, cannot be prevented. If the betrayal occurred against the background of drunk alcohol, then it can be considered a force majeure circumstance.

    You don't need to think that your husband or wife will definitely cheat on you. Our thoughts are material, and you can unwittingly bring trouble to your family. Just live and do not be afraid of anything, the more you need to do this if there are no certain prerequisites for concern.

    However, in other cases, betrayal of the other half can be prevented by taking constant preventive actions.

    To begin with, your opponent (s) will never succeed if you are the standard of correct behavior. If your impeccable appearance makes passers-by turn around, and your behavior is always correct, and you have all human qualities, then relax.

    The chances that you will be deceived by a loved one are halved. Anyone who wants to seduce your wife or your husband will think a few times before trying to persuade their other half to cheat. Since the opponent (ts) will understand that you are a worthy opponent (ts), and will not want to fail.

    It's another matter if you haven't been trying to take care of your image lately. This may be due to a lack of time and funds. But especially women should remember that a real lady will always find the means to make herself beautiful.

    Simple cucumber masks, unpretentious hair care and inexpensive but stylish clothes will make your look unique. Men can also be advised here to keep themselves in a certain shape. Do not overeat at night and exercise regularly (this also applies to women). A flabby figure and a saggy belly have not yet made anyone attractive.

    If people around you like you and always radiate positive, then it will be difficult to compete with you. Your partner will think a hundred times before flirting on the side.

    Psychologist's advice

    Many temptations often lead to the fact that a person begins to dissipate. He wants to taste all the delights of life. For those who have less stable outlooks on life, the lines between hobbies and cheating are blurred.

    Life theory is always significantly different from practical. It is not for nothing that folk wisdom says: "I will divorce someone else's misfortune with my hands." And what about your own? It will not be possible to clean it overnight. We'll have to work on it.

    Remember that after the betrayal of one of the partners (spouses), nothing will ever be the same between you. All relations will have to be restored anew, and some of them will have to be changed in a completely different direction.

    If you decide to preserve your marriage and feelings, then try to tune in to the fact that there is a lot to do before peace and joy come to your home again.

    To do this, you must adhere to the advice of a psychologist.

    • Don't provoke your partner into scandals again. Do not remind about cheating and do not reproach.
    • Do common things that will unite you and make peace.
    • Communicate more with children and spend a joint vacation with your family.
    • Try to forget all that was associated with the betrayal.As a last resort, you can try to move to another city. There, for sure, no one and nothing will remind you of the negative experience.

      In another situation, when the betrayal of a loved one has become a fatal phenomenon for you, you should not torture yourself and try to "glue a broken cup". Take a strong-willed step and in one fell swoop cut off everything that was associated with the person who betrayed you.

      If you have made a final and irrevocable decision, then you should not hesitate during a breakup.

      This will make it easier for you to dot the i. You need to understand one simple rule: the longer it takes to make a decision, the more you will fall into a stupor. This condition will entail psychosomatic phenomena. From great emotional overload, you can get sick physically. Therefore, save your nerves and give yourself the order to part.

      Yes, it will be difficult at first, but time heals. Everything passes. There will be nothing left of the pain, and you will be ready for new meetings, brighter ones, which will end in strong relationships.

      Just do not try to put yourself on the "cross". It now seems to you that you cannot trust anyone else. Remember that there is still a lot of interesting and unexplored things in life. If now you do not want to see anyone else near you, then try to find a hobby to your liking. As a result, you can heal your soul, and when this happens, you yourself will feel that you want to meet someone.

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