Psychologists named 5 reasons why lovers move away from each other
When a relationship is just starting, it always seems like it's definitely forever. In extreme cases - for a long time. But gradually there is a distance between partners from each other in about 97% of cases. Why this happens, psychologists tried to find out.
Experts at Harvard University of Psychology and Psychoanalysis have named five main reasons why even strong and cloudless relationships over time begin to crumble and undergo changes:
1. Criticism
The gold standard for those who dream of maintaining a relationship with a partner is a certain ratio of positive and negative dialogues. 80% of solid positive should account for no more than 20% of negative critical statements.
In everyday life, it is difficult to do without criticism, and this is understandable, but it is important to learn how to dose it correctly.
If the number of reproaches and sarcastic remarks with the background "well, it was a joke!" begins to exceed the cherished 20%, the relationship begins to fall apart. Even a slight bias is dangerous, scientists say, what can we say about situations when one of the partners begins to constantly grumble and express dissatisfaction!
2. Ability to argue
In an argument, truth is born, and a good argument is a great intellectual exercise. But only for those who know how to argue. For the most part, two different people with different oratory skills meet in one pair, and already at the stage of sweets and bouquets, one can notice (from the outside, of course, since the lovers themselves are blind) who their couples dominate in disputes.
Usually one argues reasonably and calmly, and the second cannot substantiate his statements or his justifications are absurd, and here a gradual abyss begins to creep, into which sooner or later both fall.
3. Low level of empathy
Empathy is the ability to empathize, empathize.If one is in trouble, from the second he expects support and sympathy in the first place. But it so happens that one of the partners has a lower level of empathy than the other, and he can easily confine himself to the banal “I sympathize” without showing full empathy.
This offends, causes bewilderment, accumulates. And sooner or later it leads to the fact that the offended partner begins to move away.
4. Inattention
Very often partners do not hear each other's true desires. One casually threw that he liked this T-shirt, and the second would buy a completely different one as a gift. How so, they said? Were there any hints? He just didn’t hear them.
If you are more interested in your partner's hobbies and hobbies, then it will be easier for you to choose the right gifts, and in general, you can learn much more interesting things about your soul mate!
5.Technophilia
Gadgets, social networks and virtual communication separate living and real people. If the partner or both do not know the measure, and spend more time in the network than with a living person, then the relationship is doomed. They do not hear a partner, they do not know anything about him, except that he himself talks about himself on social networks, they cannot sympathize and empathize.
If you work on each of the five points, psychologists say, then relationship with a high probability can be saved and saved... The main thing is to have time to do it on time. If there is already a gap, then it will be extremely difficult to stop the distance.
