The husband does not want to work: reasons and solutions to the problem

Since ancient times, a man has been considered the main earner, providing his family with food and all material benefits. Currently, unfortunately, cases of refusal of representatives of the stronger sex from this duty have become more frequent. We will talk about the reasons and how to solve such a problem in the family in our article.

Excessive independence of women often turns the head of the family into a weak, lazy, lack of initiative. Psychologists identify several types of men who do not want to work.

• The first type includes a misanthrope who is strained by communication with people. It is difficult for him to be in society because of his isolation. He prefers solitude, silence and a home environment. When the slightest problems appear at work, such people make the decision to quit without regret. Psychologists recommend misanthropes to look for remote work, for example, via the Internet.

You can craft some items at home or sew things for sale. This work allows you to earn money without direct contact and communication with other people.

• The melancholic is susceptible to negative thinking. Any trifle, insignificant remark of the authorities drives him into depression. There is a fear of facing a similar situation again, and a minor failure discourages the desire to look for a job. The melancholic feels bad everywhere, everything does not suit him. He constantly whines and complains, so the management prefers to say goodbye to him as soon as possible.

The spouse is advised to provide moral support, regularly praise and admire her husband. The melancholic cannot be criticized and scolded, otherwise he will completely lose heart.The desire to act appears only after gaining faith in oneself.

• The narcissist loves only his own person, endlessly admires himself. The world should revolve only around him. He considers himself the most competent employee. Employment is often short-lived due to strong narcissism, low performance and inadequate qualifications. With his self-admiration, the employee annoys his superiors, therefore, as soon as possible, they say goodbye to him.

Such a person does not know how to work and prefers to be supported by his wife. Psychologists recommend limiting it in money, purchasing the right clothes.

• The concept of "mama's boy" is associated with psychological problems that have arisen due to improper upbringing. Parents did not allow their son to do a dangerous job, they did all the difficult work for him. Having married, a guy expects the same actions from his life partner. Mama's son does not know how to take responsibility, to cope with difficulties, since he is used to the fact that all important matters are decided by others (he is waiting for patronage).

It seems to a man that at work he is underestimated, not loved, too stressed. He is sure that he is not obliged to do anything for others. The wife must constantly instill in him that her husband is an excellent and reliable worker, he is already an adult, therefore he is able to earn money and support his family. It is advised to forcefully assign household duties and responsibility for the family to the chosen one. The reeducation process takes a long time, but often ends successfully.

• The sluggish personality type is characterized by a particularly careful approach to choosing a career. In reality, a person can be a workaholic, but he is too afraid to make mistakes. He chooses a good job for a long time and carefully: he analyzes, reflects, doubts. Psychologists recommend that the wife praise her spouse in order to increase self-esteem and confidence in her abilities, consider the available vacancies with him, look for the advantages of their different options, express joy about the prospects for employment and make plans related to the husband's potential earnings.

It is necessary to convince the spouse that it is unnecessary to postpone the search for work. As a rule, such people are able to work in one place for a long time, and most employers are happy with them.

• The alcoholic does not feel his own responsibility to his family. He drinks every day, quickly loses his job, cannot get a job in another organization for a long time, and does not admit his problem. It is necessary to limit the alcoholic in finances as much as possible.

The husband does not want to work for various reasons. Let's consider them.

Often the reasons lie in the character and worldview of a man. The culprit may be wealthy parents providing for their son. The heir has personal savings, which he easily spends. It is unlikely that such a person would want to change the idle passing of time to work. There are many reasons for not working. He likes to live at someone else's expense.

Excessive activity of the wife, voluntary bearing of the burden of responsibility on oneself often contributes to the emergence of passivity in a male representative. A lazy person gladly accepts the care and attention of his soul mate, does not want to strain once again, prefers to lie on the couch, watch TV, play computer games. He does not want to break a measured lifestyle.

There are people waiting for their finest hour. Representatives of creative professions usually find themselves in a similar situation: artists, writers, musicians, actors. They are in constant search of themselves and do not want to waste energy on ordinary work.

Acquired bad experience can also become a reason for reluctance to try to find a job. In addition, the spouse may have an intolerable character that does not allow to pass the interview normally, communicate with the employer and join the team. Such a person prefers to stay at home.

Objective reasons can lead to the husband's inaction.

• Lack of vacancies, lack of demand for a profession leads to unemployment.
• Living in a small settlement makes it difficult to find a job.
• Health problems hinder full performance.
• The retirement age gives a person the right to a well-deserved rest. In addition, businesses are not always eager to hire an older employee.
• It can be difficult for a college or university graduate to get a job in a specialty. Lack of experience makes it difficult to find a suitable location.

Any case of refusal by the head of the family to earn money requires careful analysis. It is necessary to remember from what time a man refuses to provide for his family. He could be influenced by stressful situations, the death of a close relative, a major setback, a quarrel, or a protracted conflict with someone close.

The reluctance of career self-realization, noticed by the chosen one even before marriage, testifies to his position in life. It is unlikely that a person's worldview will change over time. Such a partner is able to sit back for more than 10 years, often even his whole life. If a man has been sitting at home for 3 years, does not want to look for work, constantly borrows money from friends and neighbors, then you should not build empty illusions. You need to part with him without regret.

It is important for a man to feel like the head of the family, the breadwinner. There are cases when in the first marriage the husband does not want to work, he is constantly gnawing at a feeling of guilt because of the abuse and eternal discontent of his wife. The result is divorce. Having married a second time, a man earns a lot and successfully runs a household, because the new darling makes him understand that it is he who is her main support and hope. A person begins to feel like a breadwinner, to feel responsibility for those close to him.

First of all a woman needs to show wisdom, tact and patience. You need to express support and understanding to your companion. To instill confidence in a partner, an emphasis is placed on his positive qualities, merits and prospects for personal growth. Only sincere faith in the spouse, the positive energy of the wife help the husband gain self-confidence.

The main task of a woman is to demonstrate her own weakness and defenselessness, so that the chosen one himself wants to shoulder the heavy burden of responsibility for the family and become the master of the hearth. Some ladies manage to motivate their husbands with an interesting purchase, for example, a car or fishing tackle, an inflatable boat.

In case of temporary absence of work, you should not focus on the problem or create scandals. In situations like this in no case should you emphasize your superiority over your partner... This humiliates the man, makes him withdraw into himself, withdrawn. They do not recommend taking full responsibility on oneself, so as not to bring lightness and carelessness into the husband's life. In this case, getting them to earn money will be problematic.Do not encourage constant lying in front of the TV with beer and expensive cigarettes in hand, bowling with friends.

It is not advised to use the financial assistance of parents, otherwise the spouse will avoid the possibility of gaining personal income... You don't need to look for a part-time job to make ends meet. It is not recommended to borrow or borrow money. Let the husband fully experience the lack of finance. Don't sacrifice yourself for a bum. In this case, you can become the initiator of the break.

You should not compulsively offer your help, so as not to offend the person. He should not feel helpless. You should never compare a husband with other men who have achieved certain success in life. This approach develops additional complexes in the spouse.

Criticism and reproaches towards the chosen one only heat up an already difficult situation. You cannot blackmail the other half with divorce, children and not entirely healthy parents. This behavior destroys the relationship. If a woman becomes pregnant, and the husband does not want this child, realizing the upcoming responsibility for the family, then you should not follow the spouse's lead and take any measures to get rid of the baby. It is necessary to warn the partner that he will sit on maternity leave.

The wife and child are offered to behave more judiciously. You can invite your husband to sit with your baby and do all the chores up to washing the dishes. Sometimes you need to be extra tough. It is best to set a specific term for the husband for employment, after which no money will be allocated for his personal needs. But in no case should a person be deprived of food, because without this he cannot survive.

Experts recommend taking a good look at the chosen one even before marriage. It is necessary to pay attention to his behavior during a quarrel and conflict. It is necessary to observe the psychology of communication between the groom and his parents.

What should a woman do if only in marriage it turned out that her husband is a bum? When a man is by nature a parasite, the problem is difficult to solve. The man does not want to work and lives at the expense of his wife. If all the actions taken are unsuccessful, then the psychologist's advice is this: divorce.

In other cases, in order to preserve marriage, women are advised to heed the following recommendations:

• you need to convince your beloved that the wife is not so hungry for money as for the self-realization of her husband for the sake of his own happiness;
• constantly encourage the spouse in search of a job, if necessary, take an active part in this;
• systematically, by their behavior, make it clear to the partner that she is a life partner, and not a mother, so that he does not feel like a child;
• ensure peaceful coexistence and mutual respect for each other.

The wife's patience, her ability to negotiate without presenting claims and reproaches, all kinds of support from a partner without cutting off his "oxygen" contribute to the preservation of the marriage.