Divorce

How to get your wife back after a divorce?

How to get your wife back after a divorce?
Content
  1. Reasons for the gap
  2. Psychologist's advice

Not all couples are able to maintain their union. Unfortunately, divorce is not uncommon these days. There are situations when the spouses come to the decision to break off the relationship mutually. In this case, it is easier for them to endure the dissolution of marriage, to start a new life. But what about when the spouse was the initiator of the break, and the ex-husband did not lose his feelings for her? The article will talk about what actions you can take to try to get your wife back after a divorce.

Reasons for the gap

The further relationship of the former spouses largely depends on how the divorce process took place. An important role is played by the reasons that prompted the dissolution of the union.

According to statistics, modern couples most often get divorced due to the following problems.

  • Interference in the marriage of friends or relatives of one of the spouses. This situation is far from uncommon. Parents often interfere the most in the life of a couple. Often the husband's mother may dislike the chosen one of her son. Because of this, she does not seek to establish communication with her, but, on the contrary, provokes conflicts and sets her son against his wife. Also, the intrigues of friends can become the reason for divorce.
  • Spouses may not agree on characters, interests and outlook on life. It is very difficult to live next to a person who practically does not support you in anything and constantly criticizes you. Differences in hobbies deprive a couple of opportunities for joint leisure and interesting communication.
  • A woman can leave her husband, unable to withstand his behavior or bad habits. Living together imposes certain responsibilities and responsibilities. If a man is not used to being accurate, does not respond to his wife's requests for help around the house, he risks losing her.
  • It is very difficult for women to come to terms with the betrayal of their spouse.Such an act inflicts great trauma and deeply hurts her feelings.
  • Feelings for another man are capable of pushing a wife to divorce. An outbreak of love can seriously turn your head. In this exalted state, a person becomes impulsive, ready to go for desperate actions.
  • Too early marriage, unwillingness to live together are the reason for about 30% of divorces in our country. Lack of life experience, youthful maximalism, inability to build relationships and make concessions quickly upset the relationship in a couple. Those spouses who had no experience of living together before marriage are especially at risk of parting in the first years of cohabitation.
  • Alcoholism, drug addiction and other dependence of the spouse makes life in the family painful. A person with such problems often behaves aggressively and even inappropriately. If a man is not ready to work on himself, then the wife can only observe the negative changes in his personality and undergo disturbances in his behavior.
  • Excessive jealousy of the spouse turns married life into a "cage". Obsessed with the idea of ​​exposing his wife, the spouse constantly arranges humiliating interrogations, controls every step, is capable of exploding on the most far-fetched reason. The atmosphere in such a family becomes very tense. It's hard for a woman to endure this from day to day. Breaking up with a jealous person becomes the only way out.
  • Problems in the sexual life of spouses can also become a reason for divorce. The situation is aggravated by the fact that not all couples are able to tactfully talk to each other about their intimate life.
  • A precarious financial situation, a lack of funds in the family makes a woman feel insecure. There are many reasons why a man is not able to bring enough funds to the couple's budget. But it becomes very difficult for a woman in the end as the main breadwinner.
  • Aggressive behavior and violence on the part of a spouse humiliates a woman, traumatizes the psyche, and leaves a strong mental pain. Unfortunately, most people with this demeanor practically defy persuasion and requests. In moments of simmering emotions, they often do not control themselves. And as a result, despite the man's pleas for forgiveness and promises to change, in the heat of another conflict, beatings are repeated from time to time.

Remember, a person will never leave someone with whom he is calm, comfortable and good. No matter how offensive it is that your wife decided to leave you, it is still worth analyzing your relationship and asking yourself questions. This is the only way you can correct mistakes and correct yourself, thereby getting the opportunity for a second chance with your beloved woman.

Psychologist's advice

It is worth saying right away that, most likely, you will have to be patient. Very often, after a breakup, a woman does not even want to communicate with her ex-spouse. To make peace, you will need to carefully analyze and work out your shortcomings and act tactfully, carefully and unobtrusively.

Well, the main condition, of course, will be your sincere desire to restore relations with your ex-wife.

  • Don't rush things. Wait for the time during which emotions, resentments and other negative experiences from a divorce will settle down for both of you. What kind of time period it is should be decided according to the situation. Sometimes it takes 2-3 weeks, and sometimes it is advisable to wait a few months.
  • Work hard on yourself. It is unlikely that a woman who decides to break off a relationship will voluntarily return to you as before. Try to get rid of bad habits if they interfered with your beloved. Make it a goal to correct negative manifestations of character. If necessary, contact a psychologist or psychotherapist and work with him to work through the psychological and personal problems you have.
  • It will be quite difficult to return the relationship if another man became the reason for the divorce.Here, perhaps, the only option would be to become better in her eyes than he. Perhaps he will make mistakes and their feelings for each other will fade away rather quickly. And your ex-wife will be able to see you in a new light and from a different point of view.
  • Often, couples disperse due to a banal misunderstanding, which leads to the inability to speak frankly with a partner. When the emotions associated with the divorce have subsided, make an appointment in a quiet place, such as a cafe or an uncrowded park. Have a heart-to-heart talk, without reproaches and claims. Think about the good and funny moments of your life together. Sincerely ask for forgiveness for the mistakes that you yourself have identified.
  • When building relationships, do not skip the courtship stage. Romantic signs of attention, gentle words, gifts and surprises, beautiful SMS messages, unobtrusive calls - all this can melt your girlfriend's heart. "Conquest" of your beloved will have to start practically all over again, regardless of the duration of your relationship and marriage.
  • Do not be too intrusive and stubborn, know the measure in everything. Be sensitive to how your ex-spouse reacts to every step you take. With too much pressure, you can simply scare her away.
  • Build relationships with her family and friends, and do not stop communicating with them after your breakup. If your wife had a conflict with your loved ones, try to influence them. Talk to your mom who was in conflict with your wife and explain to her how important the relationship with this woman is to you.
  • It is important to understand that you need to work on your mistakes and negative traits, but not at all try on the role of another person. Unnatural feigned behavior will seem odd at best. The ex-wife knew and loved you for who you are, and only some of your qualities pushed her to divorce. Trying hard to change and turn into a completely different person, you will definitely not attract her attention.
  • In the heat of the moment, do not make promises that are unrealistic and deliberately unrealistic. Be truthful and objective about your options.
  • Don't go overboard on expensive gifts. The woman may get the impression that you are simply bribing her. Nice little things with a hint of romance will work much better in this situation.
  • Do not try to control the life of your ex-wife after a divorce. Actions such as spying at the entrance or work, making calls with inquiries, or trying to extract information from mutual friends will greatly drop you in her eyes. Excessive control and possessiveness are unpleasant even during marriage. And having officially terminated the union, a woman all the more has every right to privacy.
  • In most cases, the wife stays with the child after the divorce. Never try to manipulate him, turn him against his mother, or use him as a source of information you need.

Do not put pressure on your ex-wife by having common children, do not blackmail her with a financial issue. Remember that your children are also going through your breakup and it is very difficult for them too.

If the ex-spouse is against your meetings with the child, do not pressure her and do not sever communication with children by force and scandals. Give her time to calm down and deal with her emotions, and then talk about it in private. Continue caring for children even if your ex has a new man. Don't end your relationship with them.

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