Self-esteem of a teenager: how is it formed and how to improve it?

The harmonious development of the personality is often hampered by an inferiority complex, upon the appearance of which a teenager feels worse than other people, feels insecure in his own strengths. This happens when self-esteem decreases.

Self-esteem of a teenager is formed as a result of social adaptation of the personality. Assessment of oneself is formed during interpersonal interaction, available feedback and as a result of the activities of a young person. Self-awareness is improving in society. Girls most often assess themselves at a lower level than boys. For girls, relationships with other people and attractiveness of appearance are important, and for young men, the criterion of self-esteem is communicative, strong-willed, intellectual qualities and physical data. Drawing up a matrix table allows you to understand the dynamics of the formation of self-criticism.

Babies tend to overestimate their qualities. Criticality in assessing oneself appears at the age of ten. This stage of life for most girls and boys is characterized by the identification of more negative than positive traits. An acute need for self-esteem appears, but an inability to adequately evaluate one's own person is revealed. In adolescence, self-perception approaches realistic indicators. From the age of 12, adolescents listen to the opinions of their peers. With a general adequate assessment, a negative attitude towards oneself often appears.

At the age of 14, a teenager is guided by a certain standard that embodies the ideal qualities of a person. The teenager evaluates his personality, compares his own behavior with some kind of "ideal" norms. He tries to find his place in society, to feel himself a part of it.

An important role in the formation of a correct assessment of their actions is played by the focus of a teenager on his future profession and a high assessment of the norms of moral principles by teachers. Sometimes there is a gap between real and ideal self-esteem.

A realistic assessment of his own person, his abilities and actions allows the adolescent to correctly correlate his forces with the tasks of any complexity assigned to him and the requirements of strangers. Adequate assessment fosters a critical perception of one's own moral principles and actions. People with such self-awareness are active, sociable and focused on studying those around them and themselves in society.

Low peer assessment of the adolescent's behavior can contribute to an inadequate overestimation of his self-esteem. Internal vulnerability gives rise to the desire to demonstrate their toughness. The fear of feeling his own worthlessness makes the child constantly prove to others his worth. Such a teenager tends to express himself through productive activities.

Low psychological stability is often the reason for low self-esteem. The following qualities testify to a reduced perception of oneself:

• negligence in clothes, slovenliness;
• suffering facial expression;
• fear of looking people directly in the eyes;
• desire to go unnoticed;
• slouch;
• quiet voice, slurred speech;
• ingratiating notes in intonation, constant apologies for their actions;
• self-flagellation, excessive criticism of their actions;
• belittling one's own dignity;
• low degree of sociability;
• aggression as protection from the outside world;
• distrust of people.

To study the problem, psychologists use various methods.

• With the help of the Dembo-Rubinstein method of measuring self-esteem, the degree of the adolescent's aspirations is revealed. The age range ranges from 10 to 16 years old. The size of the gap between the level of aspirations and the assessment of oneself is determined.
• V. V. Novikov's test "Who I am in this world" makes it possible to determine the tendency to overestimate or underestimate self-esteem, as well as an adequate assessment of his own person.
• The high, medium and low level of self-assessment, adequacy and inadequacy in adolescent self-esteem helps to identify the methodology of S. A. Budassi.

An underestimated self-perception is influenced by a hereditary factor: mental and physical abilities, temperament, character. Education is of no small importance. Excessive custody, obsessive care, or, conversely, the lack of a warm attitude of parents to the child negatively affects the formation of self-esteem.

Unwanted children from infancy feel useless. They do not have parental support, they feel like a hindrance, not a free person. The baby's thoughts and feelings are devalued if he is often offended by his parents. Such a child is incapable of loving himself. He always feels his imperfection. Children are not indifferent to the opinions of others. An outsider's assessment is often critical. If classmates, friends, teachers or simply acquaintances speak negatively about the external, physical or mental data of the child, then he may withdraw into himself or show aggression towards others.

Young people actively communicate in the virtual world. Along with the traditional form of bullying against adolescents, cyberbullying is spreading rapidly. It causes as much anxiety in a teenager as it does in real life bullying. The influence of any bullying on the formation of low self-esteem is great. A teenager has an increase in the level of depression and anxiety, headaches are observed, sleep is disturbed, and appetite worsens.

You should build your self-confidence gradually. First of all, you need to improve in those areas that are best given. It is necessary to devote time to self-development, read the relevant literature. The boy should definitely go in for some kind of sport. A handsome male figure increases the interest of girls.

It is very important for a teenage girl how she looks against the background of her friends. She is not indifferent to the opinions of parents, teachers, and peers. The work on her appearance helps the girl to raise self-confidence. You do not need to completely drown out such natural qualities as modesty and shyness in yourself. Young people quickly lose interest in cheeky young ladies. One should learn to alternate shyness with severity.

You need to love yourself with all the available disadvantages and advantages. You should not engage in self-flagellation. Admit your mistakes, try to correct them. You need to fight your own laziness, because it often interferes with leaving your comfort zone and saying goodbye to the role of a loser. Attend a self-esteem training session. Feel free to compliment yourself.

Smile often, enjoy every minute of your life. Believe in yourself and those around you. Realize your uniqueness. You are unique. There is no other similar person. It is very important to find your own purpose. Pay attention to your hobbies, interests, and hobbies. Find your talents. Look for strengths, build on them. Choose a profession you like.

Communicate with others more often, but you should not complain about your unhappy life. Strive to help people who need your support. Such actions help to raise self-esteem.

To correct low self-esteem, experts advise performing the following exercises:

• record in your personal diary any of your own achievements (this exercise helps to notice and evaluate any, even small luck);
• make a list of 30 of your positive qualities, gradually replenish it;
• give yourself various compliments;
• represent a famous person in your place, for example, an actor or a singer, and communicate with others, imagining that it is not you, but a famous person speaking through your mouth at the moment.

Teens need to get enough sleep because not getting enough sleep can reduce optimism and self-esteem. Excess weight and poor physical fitness increase the feeling of awkwardness and unattractiveness. Adequate nutrition and regular exercise relieve negative thoughts and give the body strength, energy and health.

Specialists give parents important advice.

• It is common for a child to identify with his parents., therefore, it is very important to put two important thoughts into the head of your child: "I am a cool person", "You are also an amazing person, even better than me." Praise your children. Emphasize that their potential is great. Express your faith in your child's abilities. Maternal support for a daughter and paternal help for a son are necessary for a teenager.
• Do not criticize the growing child, as he is not sure about his attractiveness. Criticism greatly lowers self-esteem. Do not compare your child to other children, even for good reasons.
• Help the young man feel his beauty and attractiveness. Ask a stylist to help you choose the right style. Teeth and skin need to be put in order. Teenagers are very worried about various skin rashes, but they are often embarrassed to talk about it. Take your child to a beautician.
• Provide your kids with the opportunity to make new acquaintances. Enroll them in various sections and circles, send them to a sports camp and recreation centers. In an unfamiliar team, the child is given the opportunity to open up in a new way. The wider the circle of communication, the more different facets for revealing the personality. The idea of ​​oneself is expanding.

The following self-esteem enhancement strategies are recommended for adolescents. Find some reason to be proud.

• Concentrate on experience, not looks. The appearance changes quickly. The laws of beauty are also changeable.
• Go in for sports, art. Learn to play a musical instrument.
• Make an effort to achieve academic success. Knowledge gives self-confidence.
• Learn to take responsibility. Find a part-time job. The money earned can be spent on training, helping people. Become a volunteer. Help animals, the elderly and sick people.

Develop personality.

• Don't try to please people. It is impossible to please everyone at the same time. Do good deeds. Be a good person.
• Find your unique style. Choose not fashionable clothes, but the one that looks beautiful on you, suits your face, makes you stand out from the crowd. Create a unique look.
• Take care of your personal hygiene. Brush your teeth regularly, comb your hair, use deodorant. Wear only clean and tidy items. Do not wear torn clothes. The items must be the right size for you. Get rid of clothes that are too tight or baggy.
• Learn a new dance, sport or art. Take part in competitions.
• Surround yourself with friends who understand, love, and appreciate you. You shouldn't be friends with people who envy your success or drag you down.
• Don't be afraid to voice your personal opinion. Know how to refuse people. Don't be pushed around you. Be assertive.

Get rid of the negativity.

• Don't spend a lot of time with pessimistic people. Life is Beautiful. A negative thinker is unhappy. Always think positively. Switch from negative thinking to positive affirmation.
• Always focus only on achievement. Take any setbacks as an experience you need. Try to fix the mistakes, keep going.
• There are no perfect people. Strive to achieve realistic goals. Think over every step. Don't be discouraged if you can't achieve more than you would like.
• Stop overreacting to criticism. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but it can be wrong. Take constructive criticism into service.
• Engage in auto-training. Reassure yourself every day that you are a wonderful person. It is in your power to cope with any life problems. You deserve to be happy.