Offended woman: reasons for resentment against men

Perhaps any man had to deal with a woman's resentment. When an offended woman knows how to speak out her grievance, and a man knows how to listen and understand, then it is quite easy for them to solve painful issues in a relationship. But it also happens that the reason for resentment against a man is incomprehensible to the spouse and he does not know how to behave in such a situation. And sometimes it is difficult for a woman herself to understand herself and cope with resentment. How to understand each other and yourself and what to do in a similar situation?

We will proceed from the fact that the man does not know the reason for the resentment. Then it can manifest itself like this: she has withdrawn herself, communicates coldly, demonstratively does not speak, or, on the contrary, becomes too demanding, “nags”, finds fault with trifles.

There can be many reasons for this. Here are just a few: fatigue, inattention, hurtful words, jealousy, misunderstanding, and so on. But, in the end, they all boil down to a silent request (or demand) of a woman to pay attention to her.

Psychology calls this behavior manipulation. The main sign of a manipulator is insincerity, such a person does not speak directly about his needs, but looks for all sorts of workarounds and does it unconsciously.

Therefore, we need to look deeper. Then, given the unconsciousness of such behavior and the weakness of the one who is offended, one can understand that the offense against the beloved has no malicious intent, but by and large asks for attention and needs his inner strength and support.

It's no secret for men for a long time that women get married also because they need their strength, protection and support. Unfortunately, in the male circle, only physical strength is often understood as protection and support.

But the truth is that a woman often needs moral support just as much. An internally strong man will always notice when his companion is disturbed by something and will not dismiss her experience.

For a woman, attention, the care of her husband is like a charger for a battery. They are charged from simple words and hugs and become indefatigable generators from affectionate treatment. The woman is just waiting for kind words.

It also happens that a girl turns out to be an overly capricious person who does not calm down even when you have collected all your understanding and, as it seems to you, have given your best. At this moment it is better to take a break and think about this: men are accustomed to tit-for-tat relationships, and aggression is alien to women by their nature. That's why if a tired wife begins to "gnaw" you, drill with words and "let poison", this does not mean that you need to strike back - it will only be worse for both. This is just a signal that the energy has run out, it's time to "charge the batteries".

The fact is that modern men, many who grew up in conditions of matriarchy and feminism, sincerely believed that a woman can be strong: a leader, a businesswoman, an athlete, a rock climber, a Komsomol member, etc. And women themselves almost believed it. But their true essence, tender and fragile, does not come to terms with this state of affairs in society and tries to break the established stereotypes in her attitude. True, he does not always do it skillfully. But on the other hand, thanks to such her manifestations, men can know for sure: in front of them is a real woman.

When young people still only dream of a family, they often do not realize that the family is not only and not so much a constant holiday, but also persistent daily and hourly work on relationships. But this work will pay off them a hundredfold, and soon they will feel that it brings them an extraordinary joy of reciprocity, penetration and co-creation with their chosen one.

If you do not forget that any relationship is created not only to please yourself, but for the common good, then the efforts spent on building relationships will bring great joy. The same advice applies to women: do not forget to take care of your "garden of love" every day, and, like a real garden, weed it from weeds-offenses, water it with good thoughts and words and feed it with a balm of tenderness.

It often happens that girls do not admit their grudge, including some kind of game, and the guy may not even guess the reason for your grievance. These reasons can often be subjective. It happens that for her something is unacceptable in his behavior, but for him this is the norm. For example, a man, having complimented another girl, simply showed courtesy, and his companion is offended.

In order not to carry an offense in herself, a girl just needs to talk to her loved one and express what is in her heart. If a guy apologized, admitted a mistake, and you still can't calm down, it means that someone else’s opinion may affect you, and someone accidentally “hooked” you with this way of coping with troubles - to be offended. For example, your girlfriends have had a similar negative experience and they advise you not to forgive the villain.

The time has come to bring internal cleanliness. Remember and sort out all the similar situations of your friends and loved ones, in which they also took offense at men. Analyze these situations soberly and determine who is really right.And even if a friend or mother had a reason for resentment, firmly tell yourself that this is not your experience, but the experience of your friend (mother, etc.). Your situation with your spouse may be somewhat similar to theirs, but you are completely different people and you may have many different circumstances. And henceforth proceed from the circumstances of your particular situation and the characteristics of yours and your companion.

If the guy does not admit his mistake, you can express your opinion to him, but after that you need to calm down and forgive the offense. This will help get rid of her. Don't be afraid to be too soft and vulnerable. On the contrary, when you forgive, you will find yourself becoming more resilient and stronger inwardly. And you will no longer be confused even by someone's attempt to assert themselves. You take everything calmly, maintaining inner balance. Next to such peace, any desire to “probe” and provoke disappears. Being close to such peace and such confidence, I want to be imbued with them, and to cooperate with you.

Carrying grievances in oneself means doing worse only to oneself. An offended person is like a heavy truck pulling a load (and indeed: unforgiven grievances lie like a stone in his heart): he is sad, joyless, with such a person you don't want to be around for a long time. Resentment creates ill health. Unforgiven grudges cause nervous tension. And as you know, the nervous system regulates all processes in the body. In a state of stress (a long-term resentment leads the body to this very state), it works to the limit of its capabilities and failures occur in it.

Imagine your resentment as some kind of energy. Listen to yourself - where it is located in you, what its appearance is - its shape, color, what sensations it evokes - it can be hot or cold, scraping, squeezing or splitting. Observe her as if from the outside: what she is doing, what she wants to tell you. Listen - perhaps she will say something important to you, perhaps you will even hear whose voice she speaks to you. Thank her for the lesson, forgive her coming to you and let her go, mentally imagining how she dissipates like fog, flies into the sky or disappears in another way.

After that, you will feel that you wanted to breathe freely - this made room for something new and joyful in you. Now breathe as deeply as you want, and imagine that you are filled with pure sparkling light. Doing this exercise regularly, you will notice that your grievances are already, as it were, automatically released and you feel liberated.

For information on how to learn how to build relationships without resentment against men, see the next video.