Resentment

Is it worth taking revenge on a person if he offended?

Is it worth taking revenge on a person if he offended?
Content
  1. What is revenge?
  2. Causes
  3. When should you forgive people?
  4. Possible ways of punishment
  5. What can this lead to?
  6. Useful Tips

No one is immune to being wronged. Even the closest people can do meanness. Naturally, after the inflicted troubles, a person begins to be tormented by a feeling of resentment and a desire to get even. This article will discuss the reasons and methods for revenge.

What is revenge?

The desire for revenge arises in response to the inflicted pain, meanness, humiliation and other actions of others. This is a rather strong feeling, often seriously spoiling the life of someone who becomes obsessed with it. The main driving force of the avenger is the desire to restore justice, to regain his dignity.

The hardest thing is to come to terms with the insult inflicted by a loved one. The meanness deliberately committed to those you trust is sometimes confusing.

After the first stupor from the happened trouble passes, it is replaced by the strongest indignation. This feeling takes possession of a person both physically and mentally. The restrained pride and pride do not give rest. In the first stages, the most sophisticated and even cruel plans of revenge can arise in the head.

The period of hatching a revenge plan is often very exhausting. Unless, of course, we are not talking about a very trifling, comic dirty trick. When feelings are deeply hurt and tangible moral damage is caused, it can be very difficult to calm down and let go of the situation.

Often, those who crave retribution lose sleep and appetite. They may even notice changes in behavior and appearance. Resentment stubbornly gnaws at a person, making life very emotionally limited and one-sided.

Psychologists and others in this field have noticed that people with high self-esteem and emotional impulsivity are most prone to revenge. These two qualities in a critical situation can push a person into very serious rash acts, therefore it is worth being careful and weighing the real damage from the situation in which the abuser has placed.

Because of a joke, sometimes cruel retribution is committed, which is completely unequal to the act. In any situation, you should try to figure it out, look at it from different angles. Perhaps the act was not even completely intentional or forced.

Psychologists advise in any case to analyze the situation and understand the origins of those emotions and feelings that a person experiences in connection with what happened. In other words, one should understand the true motives for the emergence of the desire to take retaliatory actions in relation to the one who offended.

Causes

Depending on the individual traits of character and worldview, each person reacts completely differently to others and their actions. As noted above, pride and emotionality most of all push the victim to violent responses. And it is they who create a very great danger of "going too far".

Stable harmonious personalities usually do not react to minor troubles, squabbles or cruel jokes. By doing so, they are doing themselves a favor by maintaining peace of mind and balance.

Undoubtedly, there are very weighty reasons for revenge. No matter how much we want serious betrayal, betrayal and intrigue to bypass us, they still happen in life.

Many events can cause a serious mark on the soul and resentment:

  • deliberate insult, humiliation of a loved one;
  • betrayal or betrayal of a loved one;
  • the intrigues of colleagues;
  • the intrigues of a best friend or boyfriend;
  • intentional cruel deception.

Having experienced an unpleasant situation, only the person himself can make a decision about revenge. Therefore, it is advisable to give yourself time to calm down, think over and weigh the pros and cons. It is necessary to restrain yourself from hacking from the shoulder.

When should you forgive people?

Many spiritual teachings and religions carry the idea of ​​forgiveness and letting go of any negative situation - this preserves spiritual energy, since a person, forgiving, does not waste energy on reciprocal evil deeds. But this is a philosophical approach to the problem of resentment. To accept or not to accept such a point of view is a personal choice for everyone.

In any case, before taking revenge, you need to weigh everything well. Perhaps it is in this situation that a person deserves forgiveness and will be very grateful in the future.

  • A person could not have made trouble on purpose. It is not always possible to assess the consequences of their decisions or actions. It may well be that you were not deliberately attacked at all.
  • Sometimes innocent jokes can be misunderstood and taken as an insult. Of course, you need to joke carefully, without causing inconvenience, damage or offending others.
  • If the offender sincerely asked for forgiveness and repents, perhaps this is his retribution. Often, after a misconduct, a decent person, realizing a mistake, apologizes himself and tries to correct the consequences, to make amends. Vindictiveness with the sincere remorse of the offender will simply be inappropriate and will make you look like the aggressor.
  • It is very unpleasant and painful when a close and beloved person greatly offended. Revenge on a girl, parents, husband is unlikely to please. And discord and enmity are likely to increase. You should think about it several times if you still have a desire to punish a loved one.
  • Often, meanness can be arranged due to envy. At work, subordinates often completely unreasonably create various troubles for a successful boss or boss.

A similar situation can arise in the family. For example, a younger brother may just be jealous. In such a situation, the abuser himself is also deeply unhappy.It is worth defending against such people only in time, but revenge, they, perhaps, are unworthy.

Possible ways of punishment

If, nevertheless, it was decided to take revenge, then it is worth remembering that it must be proportionate to the offense inflicted. You should choose the method that you will definitely not regret, while it should not make you look bad.

Below are some examples of possible revenge for different situations.

  • If they tried to humiliate you, then you should not publicly react to such an act. The offender needs to piss you off and make you look bad and funny. Not having received the desired action, he himself will find himself in an awkward situation in front of other observers.
  • After betrayal, one often wants not only to break off the relationship, but also to take revenge on the partner who deceived the feelings. A man or ex-girlfriend can be hurt by starting a new, seemingly successful relationship. Appearing together in a circle of mutual acquaintances and praising a new passion or boyfriend, it is quite possible to win back on the pride and feelings of the offended former lover.
  • The best way to reason with a bully who has abusively insulted or used physical force is with the help of the police. You should collect evidence, witnesses, remove the traces of blows or slaps from an expert and boldly go with a statement to the relevant authorities. The impudent person will not be so harsh during conversations and interrogations. Trouble in the form of a fine and two months of litigation is guaranteed to him.
  • If a person commits meanness on a regular basis, you need to inform others about it in every possible way. Let people know who they are dealing with. Over time, he will have almost no acquaintances who want to communicate with him. You should talk about his actions on social networks - this is a very effective way of spreading information.
  • Knowing the abuser's phone number can make him into trouble with unwanted calls. For example, leave his contacts on a site with advertisements for piquant services. With the help of the auto-dialing program, you can torture a subscriber by calling a mobile or home phone at any time of the day or night.
  • The Internet and social networks provide a lot of room for small dirty tricks. There you can spread incriminating information, photos and videos of obscene content. Some decide to hack the accounts of the offenders and through this give him trouble and excitement.

What can this lead to?

Before avenging an insult, it is worth assessing the possible consequences of the planned actions for yourself. In this case, we mean unlawful actions to which one so often wants to resort. For example, painting or damaging the body of a car, assault and public insults, taking away or stealing things and other similar acts, from the point of view of the law, are crimes. After such actions, a person has the right to contact the appropriate authorities ..

By taking cruel revenge on a loved one, you can offend him for life and lose his trust forever.

You need to think about the unforeseen consequences of actions. All people are different and have different levels of health and emotional composure. What did not seem too serious can drive another to hysterics or cause a heart attack, provoke a stroke

Useful Tips

Deciding on revengeful actions, a person sinks somewhat to the level of the offender. The petty dirty trick, according to the advice of experts, should not even be honored with attention, since he feeds on an exclusively exaggerated reaction and an overestimation of his insignificant meanness.

In any cases of illegal actions, the best protection and revenge would be to make it public, contact the police.

Before embarking on a plan of vengeance, you need to honestly and consistently answer yourself a few questions.

  • What real damage (material or moral) have I suffered due to the actions of this person?
  • Do I really want and should take revenge on my abuser?
  • Why am I going to do such an act?
  • What exactly in my actions should hurt him?
  • What result do I want to see?
  • Is my abuser worthy of such punishment?
  • What are the possible consequences of my actions for myself?
  • Will my life really get better if I get it done?

You should also seriously think about what changes the current, albeit unpleasant, situation brought about. Maybe this will push you towards some long-awaiting decisions or work on yourself. Below is a simple example of this combination of circumstances.

The beloved man left the woman after several years of relationship, cheating on her and leading a double life before that. Beside herself with resentment and anger, the unfortunate woman spent many weeks hatching plans for revenge, having even managed to carry out several small dirty tricks. During this period, she fell into depression, and her family persuaded her to see a specialist - a psychotherapist.

The consultant, as revenge, offered her a different approach: to look great, lose weight, buy nice clothes, change her image and have fun in her free time. The therapist convinced her that the best revenge on that man would be a charming look. Seeing her blooming, he will cruelly regret what he did.

The woman found the strength and began to actively work on herself, brought herself into excellent shape. She really began to often walk around the city, visit cafes. However, she never met her ex. But one day in the park she met another young man. Soon they began a relationship, and she forgot to think about revenge, as well as about her former partner.

To summarize briefly, the essence is this: perhaps the situation directs you on a different path, opening up new, previously unseen opportunities. Events in our life, including offensive ones, often give a signal to work on ourselves.

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