Divorce

How to tell a husband or wife about a divorce?

How to tell a husband or wife about a divorce?
Content
  1. Reasons for breaking up a relationship
  2. How to tell a man?
  3. How to tell a woman?
  4. Psychological advice

Divorce is a tragedy in life for both spouses. Some suffer greatly from the experience. But this already happens after the breakup. A more painful situation arises when one of the marriage partners tries to inform the other half of the impending separation forever. How can you overcome these difficulties when you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown?

Reasons for breaking up a relationship

Many people wonder why people do not live together, because when their family was created, they were happy. What happened now and what exactly led them to make the fatal decision? There are answers to these questions. They can be different. Much in this situation depends on the partners themselves and their characters.

Here are some examples.

  • The couple decided to divorce because of unfulfilled hopes and expectations. For example, a woman married a promising young man. She expected her husband to become a businessman, to earn fame and big money. But her hopes were dashed. Her husband's gray hair is multiplying, but he never became the top leader. Now she constantly reproaches her husband that he broke her life. This behavior causes the husband to hate the ever-nagging wife. The result is a divorce.
  • In another case, the husband was never able to get from his wife what he had previously expected. When the life together began, it turned out that the woman was completely incapable of conducting business affairs. Her carelessness annoys her husband, and he expresses dissatisfaction. Scattered things and the lack of full lunches and dinners only add to the bad mood. Negativity builds up like a snowball and leads to a breakdown in relations.
  • Alcoholism in one of the marriage partners also contributes to divorce. No one will tolerate a person near him who drinks money and behaves inappropriately. The children and the wife suffer and are ashamed of the drinking relative. Your spouse's patience will eventually end and the marriage will fall apart.
  • A tyrant husband is another reason for a woman to file for divorce. Children suffer from constant reproaches and bullying. The wife will tolerate this state of affairs for a long time, but only if she has nowhere to go. But she, too, will eventually find a way out of the situation and leave her husband-despot.
  • The situation can develop according to a negative scenario if the wife is a careerist, and everything in the house is done according to her instructions. The husband and children live as if according to a script written by an egoist wife. She does not accept any advice that comes from her spouse. What happens without her knowledge becomes sedition. As a result, if the woman does not correct the situation, everything can end in disastrous - family ties will be severed.
  • Different interests are another factor leading to divorce. One of the spouses is a spiritual person with many intellectual interests. The other is completely uninterested in anything and all the time lies on the sofa near the TV and swears. What is the future for completely different people in marriage? None, and divorce is inevitable.

    No wonder they say that living life is not a field to cross. How many more various obstacles and troubles you will meet on your way. Not everyone can overcome them. Therefore, no one is safe from a divorce from their beloved soul mate. And if such a tragedy does happen, then you shouldn't fold your arms and go with the flow. You need to know how to get out of trouble with dignity.

    How to tell a man?

    Divorce is a stressful situation that can trigger unpredictable emotions. If you report the breakup to a person who is not prepared for this event, then his first reaction will be negative.

    Instinctively, he will want to harm you in every possible way and reckon with invaluable feelings. It is possible that in revenge he will respond with a categorical refusal. It's good that it will work out that way. In another case, the offended husband will arrange a scene with assault and shame on the whole district.

    Consider every step you take before you tell your spouse about your divorce. Here you need to proceed with caution and take into account the individual character.

    For example, the husband is a domestic tyrant. His wife and children suffer from his antics and negative reactions to everything that happens. Battering is the norm in such a family. From day to day, the spouse is subjected to violence, both moral and physical. There is no end to aggressive behavior. What to do in this case? Of course, before you tell the inadequate person about the upcoming breakup, you need to prepare well. It is necessary to consider all sorts of options from material to moral ethics. After all, the news of a divorce can provoke a completely unpredictable reaction from a representative of the stronger sex. He can commit an irreparable act and resort to violence.

    You must first find suitable accommodation and leave home, while taking your children (if any) with you. Then, in writing, inform your ex-husband about the divorce. It doesn't matter how you do it - through a courier or through a social network, the main thing is that it will protect you and your loved ones from reprisals.

    By the way, you can just call on the phone and tell the bad news. This will keep you safe. Further, having learned the reaction of your ex-spouse, you will be able to evaluate your further actions.

    But even at this stage, you should not relax. An offended husband may seek to meet with you or start hatching plans for revenge. Yes, such individuals are capable of anything to prevent divorce. An inadequate person is unpredictable in his actions. Therefore, these actions must be foreseen so as not to endanger.

    You may have to temporarily leave the place where you permanently live to another city and stay there until everything "settles down". Do your best to keep your health and life.

    But how to tell your husband about the divorce if he is a good person? A woman is tormented by her conscience, and she falls into a depressive state because she understands the seriousness of what is happening.

    To reduce the impact of a stressful situation and not inflict a strong offense on a once loved one, try to act delicately. Take a time to talk so that no one bothers you, and say directly that your feelings have exhausted themselves. Explain that you have done everything you can to keep your family together, but your heart cannot be ordered.

    You can no longer deceive yourself and your ex-lover. At the end of the conversation, be sure to thank the man who has been married to you for some time, for a great relationship, for his sensitivity. Of course, this will not play a special role, but it will soften the situation. After that, leave home so as not to give up hope of rebuilding the relationship.

    Your husband is a very impressionable person. You perfectly understand that your spouse loves you very much and does not imagine life outside of marriage. If you are afraid of inflicting a fatal offense on your significant other, you need to make sure that the person does not make a hasty decision to commit suicide.

    In this situation, it is necessary to act very carefully. First, hint at the breakup, then see your husband's reaction. If you see that she will be stormy, and your spouse is against the development of such events, then leave your actions "for later."

    It's important to take the time to get used to the thought of a breakup. While you have not made a final decision, behave rather coldly with your husband, but do not be rude and do not make scandals. Just hint in every possible way that your relationship has long been exhausted. Avoid intimacy.

    Sooner or later, your significant other will come to terms with the fact that between you there is no longer the connection that was before. When you once again hint at a breakup, your husband may not mind.

    An important role in divorce is played by the question of who the children will be left with. They usually stay with their mother. But the offended spouse will be able to manipulate you if he begins to blackmail with what will take your children away from you.

    In the circumstances, you need to proceed with caution. Try not to annoy or anger your husband, not to contradict him. On the contrary, it is necessary to agree that the children, perhaps, can stay with the dad.

    However, at the same time, a man should be reminded that it is not easy to educate the younger generation. Babies and adolescents need every minute attention, and if the father is at work all the time, he will not be able to give the children the necessary upbringing.

    It is also necessary to add that your spouse will definitely find a life partner for himself. It is possible that the new beloved may not agree with the presence of children and will demand to give them to their own mother.

    Next, be sure to explain to your spouse that after a divorce, he will in no case lose touch with his own children. You need to sincerely assure the man that communication with the guys will continue, despite the fact that they will live separately. Usually men, after a little thought, agree with such arguments.

    How to tell a woman?

    If you are going to get divorced, it will be difficult to tell your wife about the breakup. There can be a great many reasons for this. It all depends on the temperament and character of the woman with whom you have been married for some time.

    As a rule, a man decides on his own to divorce if he meets another woman. In other cases, the intention to leave gradually comes to both spouses. However, often an unpleasant conversation is "delayed" indefinitely. Problems are growing, and then the man takes full responsibility and reports the divorce.

    To prevent your wife from falling into a depressive stupor, try to talk to her correctly. This will make you feel better yourself.

    And how to do this, the following tips will help.

    Your wife is arbitrary. Everything in the house is under her control, including all your actions. Finally, you are tired of being "henpecked" and you decide to divorce. How to tell your spouse about this? Proceed with caution. Usually, such women do not forgive betrayal, and breaking up a relationship is a kind of betrayal. The reaction of the fairer sex will be unpredictable if you report the news of a divorce suddenly. Prepare for this event. Find escape routes first.

    If you do not have parents or extra living space, then rent temporary housing. Believe me, it will be better for you. Then inform your spouse in writing about the breakup. You can do this both by phone and through a social network.

    When you explain to your ex-wife, then try not to be carried on by her provocations during the conversation and choose your words in the most careful way. At the end of the conversation (letter), thank your spouse for the years you have lived together.

    There are many reasons for "wasting" the time when deciding on a divorce. One of them is when the couple lived in marriage for a very long and happy time. In this situation, the man is tormented by his conscience. In this case, you should not delay with the proposal to dissolve the marriage. Otherwise, you can get into an unpleasant story, morally torturing yourself and your ex-wife.

    Take the right time and tell your spouse you are filing for divorce. At the same time, you should not play around and come up with various stories. Keep it simple and honest.

    After a frank dialogue, promise your ex-wife that you will help her in every possible way, and also you will not forget about your children together. It is necessary to explain that you and your wife will remain family members forever, since you have lived a significant part of your life in marriage. Tell her that it's just that your relationship will now move to another level. This will calm the offended woman.

    You are afraid that your spouse will be "morally killed" by the news that you have decided to divorce her. In a more severe case, it can lead to suicide. These circumstances complicate matters very much, but because of this, you should not change your mind and continue to pretend that you have a strong social unit. This will only make you worse. Sooner or later, your indecision will lead to dire consequences.

    Act wisely and carefully. To get started, just talk to your spouse and offer to divorce in a humorous manner. If you see a kind of reaction: tears, hysteria, then pause your actions.

    After a while, when your spouse calms down, continue to fulfill your intentions. Gradually, but surely, make your relationship cold. Refuse sex and behave independently. Over time, the woman herself will get bored with such a relationship, and perhaps she herself will ask you for a divorce.

    In any case, when you start talking with your wife about ending the relationship, try to reassure her that she will not be left alone. You will always be in touch and near. Such reassurances will calm your ex-wife, and she will not interfere with you.

    Psychological advice

    When divorcing, you need to remember that psychology will certainly help to act correctly, but remember also that this issue has material aspects. They are the ones who can undermine your calmness and lead to depression. Therefore, proceed in your own way, but rely on some advice.

    • In order not to get into a mess during a divorce, try to prepare all the necessary documents in advance.
    • Think about who your children will stay with. They usually stay with their mother.
    • If a man decided to leave the children after a divorce for himself, then he should be aware of all the difficulties that await him after making such a decision. No mother will give up the child, so get ready for a confrontation with your ex-wife.

    Maybe it’s better to change your decision, since parenting is not an easy task for a man. However, the cases are different, perhaps your intention was deliberate.

    • If you have made a final decision and definitely want to inform your wife (husband) about this, choose the right time and place for this. Make sure your children are not around.
    • Don't drag out the time of the conversation. This will only make it worse for everyone.
    • If you start to state the essence of the problem, then speak clearly and clearly so that your spouse (s) does not have any doubts.
    • You see that the spouse reacts to the news of divorce too emotionally, try to calm her (him) and do not "get turned on" yourself. Otherwise, you will plunge into complete negativity, and your decisions will be distorted from anger and abuse.
    • An important question is your jointly acquired property. Try not to be greedy and share it according to conscience and justice. Do not forget to consider the interests of your children.

    Remember that the decision to divorce is difficult for both men and women. Gender and age do not matter in this matter. It hits the psyche hard.

    Try to minimize the negative side of the issue. Be tolerant of each other and keep your children's best interests in mind.

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