Low self-esteem: signs and causes

It so happens that a person does not value himself. Thus, he tries to prove to himself that his mind and efforts do not mean anything to others. Such negative moments in character are manifested against the background of low self-esteem. Since low self-esteem is very bad for the quality of life, therefore, you need to get rid of it by all available means. Let's take a closer look at the signs and reasons for low self-esteem.

In psychology, it is customary to reason in the way that a person imagines his importance in society, such is her self-esteem. For some, it is too high, while for others it is very underestimated. It should be noted that a self-sufficient person has adequate self-esteem. Low self-esteem depends primarily on how confident we are and how seriously we take other people's opinions. For example, if an individual does not have certain knowledge, then he may feel a certain dependence on society. Thus, self-doubt develops. And it also depends on how our appearance looks like, what skills we possess. For example, an employee who cannot do a good job will be afraid that he could be fired at any time. Fear will cause an underestimation of your "I".

Material well-being plays an important role in this issue. However, it does not promote adequate self-esteem. Experts say that in most cases, wealthy people have low self-esteem. And there is evidence for this statement.... It is not for nothing that some of those who can boast of a tight wallet compete with each other, for example, they buy the most expensive yacht or house.

If you notice the following points, then it is worth considering:

• you justify the negative actions of other people in your address and accuse yourself of the fact that they did this to you and not otherwise;
• if you avoid conflicts by all means, then you feel insecure; these actions lead to a bad attitude towards oneself.

In addition, a person with low self-esteem has such external signs as:

• you have a melancholy and frightened look, you try not to meet other people's eyes;
• your speech contains such expressions: "Not sure", "Not ready" and so on.

You need to correct your behavior... It should also be noted that people with low self-esteem can behave quite aggressively and hostile towards others. They tend to humiliate and insult other people whom they consider lower in rank. Usually they look intently, carefully studying their interlocutor. In addition, such persons clench their fists when walking or use offensive gestures.

By and large, all the problems that a person has with character come from distant childhood. As a child, the individual begins to take on all the blows that occur due to several moments.

When parents in a family take out their failure on a child, then he begins to suffer and fall into depression. Parents often look at the TV screen, say: “Look what a handsome boy (or girl) is performing! He knows how to play the violin and probably learns well. Not that you are a poor student and a fool. " At this moment, a storm of emotions is raging in the soul of the child on the other side of the TV screen. First of all, he feels resentment from the fact that his parents look at other people's children with admiration, but he is not appreciated. The little man really wants to take the place of the child who was praised by his parents.

However, he understands that he will not be able to occupy such heights. As a result, the offended boy (or girl) begins to scold himself for not knowing how to play the violin and his (her) appearance does not reach certain parameters. Self-destruction is gradually becoming a habit. This is how character is formed.

In continuation of the above paragraph, it should be noted that a child who is disliked in the family suffers even when he has to fulfill his small responsibilities related to school. Uncertainty in his abilities does not allow such a child to fully develop and strive for something, since, by and large, he does not have real support from loved ones. If a student gets a bad mark, then he knows in advance that he will be scolded at home. Parents who care about the state of mind of their children try to support them in case of failure. For example, tutors are hired to improve their level of knowledge.

In a family where the parents treat the child as a consumer, the opposite happens. When he gets an unsatisfactory grade, he is put in a corner and forced to study as "excellent". However, any sane person should understand: before getting something, you need to make some effort, and with the help of violence nothing can be achieved.

This factor is of great importance. Whatever a person is, in any case, society has a very strong influence on him.The people with whom we communicate or just spend time, unambiguously shape our attitude towards ourselves. For example, a child spends most of his time at home and at school. If an unfavorable situation develops in the family, then the school can mitigate the unfavorable factors of family upbringing, and, conversely, the family can protect the child from too intrusive teachers.

The same can be said for adults. If for a long time a person is among personalities who inspire and strengthen his faith in himself, then self-esteem grows. If a person spends time with the wrong person, then the situation is different. For example, there are people next to an individual who annoy and accuse him all the time. Bad dependence on such a society will inevitably lead to a drop in self-esteem.

Where does a person get low self-esteem? Unambiguously due to problems that either arose a very long time ago, or very recently. The most painful problems are those related to poor health. Even greater dissatisfaction with oneself, and, therefore, a decrease in self-esteem, cause problems associated with flaws in appearance.

If a person does not feel like everyone else, his self-esteem drops. For example, an individual lost his legs for some reason. He can only move with the help of special devices. It is very important that there are people next to him who would support him morally and physically in difficult times and direct him on a path that would help quick rehabilitation. If there is no support nearby, then the person begins to experience difficulties. Over time, he becomes depressed, all the time thinking about his inferiority.

However, it also happens that a person considers herself simply ugly. Especially adolescents and young people visit such thoughts. They begin to convince themselves that their appearance leaves much to be desired. Some of them become isolated and stop communicating with people. As a result, anger appears, and then low self-esteem. Some of these people are looking for a way out. And they even find it. It is not without reason that we can often meet eccentrics on the street who decorate their appearance with tattoos or make unimaginable hairstyles on their heads.

Of course, doing this is also wrong. Unusual appearance attracts judgmental glances from others. If a person already has a consciousness with low self-esteem, then the condemnation of others can lead him into even greater depression. As a result, the circle is closed and a hopeless situation is obtained. However, it must be remembered that there is always a way out. The main thing is to want to find it.

A person with low self-esteem is always distinguished by demeanor and uncertain speech. Some kind of closed posture, with the help of which a person tries to protect himself from the external manifestations of society, also betrays insecure behavior. For example, getting into a room where there are many strangers, an insecure person clutches a bag or briefcase to his chest with both hands. Such a closed posture suggests that the person is not ready for communication and is afraid of the people around him.

This happens because an insecure person is trying to understand the mood of the crowd. There is some comparison of oneself with those who are “on the other side”. A person is afraid that his appearance may not correspond to generally accepted characteristics.If you take a self-confident person as a counterbalance, then everything will happen differently here. A person who “knows his own worth” always and everywhere behaves confidently enough. He speaks loudly and answers the questions of his opponents clearly. It will be immediately possible to distinguish him from the crowd for his bold behavior.

Sometimes low self-esteem develops into an obsessive state. It is quite simple to understand that an individual has symptoms of low self-esteem, namely:

• a person considers himself powerless, therefore his behavior causes a feeling of pity;
• low self-esteem leads to the fact that a person ceases to respect himself, after which others begin to treat him as well;
• a person is haunted by the fear of being rejected, so he tries not to communicate with anyone and does not make new acquaintances;
• painful perception of any criticism is another sign of self-doubt, a normal person accepts criticism adequately; if his behavior really contains negative factors, he tries to eliminate them; if he is subjected to unjustified criticism, then he tries to prove that the accusations against him are groundless;
• a certain fear makes an insecure person put things off on the back burner, a person is simply afraid to take up his duties and because of this delays with the start of activities;
• an insecure person often has trembling hands and feet if he is going to solve a significant problem.

Low self-esteem is quite dangerous for any personality. Nowadays, this topic is popular. This means that many are interested in it. All this is due to the fact that lack of confidence in one's abilities can lead to irreversible consequences. Especially weak-minded people are susceptible to this phenomenon, so they are in constant depression. Such individuals forget about their significant advantages, and cultivate only their disadvantages.

So, it becomes clear that self-esteem needs to be raised, otherwise you may run into the following problems:

• low self-esteem never does not bring real happiness, feelings of inferiority will always get in the way; as soon as you want to do something, this factor gets in the way of realization, you can miss the chance and opportunities, the pain of loss will be very strong;
• a person with an insecure character will never truly love and respect people; a negative feeling does not provide an opportunity for full-fledged communication with them, so he will be rejected as soon as he tries to take the first step;
• a person with low self-esteem may make the wrong choice of a life partner, due to a negative factor in the character of the individual, he underestimates himself and overestimates other people all the time, so he will constantly subject himself to criticism and gradually fall into depression;
• low self-esteem leads to dissatisfaction with life in general, a person blames all the people around him for his failures; these actions often lead to anger and even pathology;
• isolation - this is another bad character trait that manifests itself with low self-esteem; such a factor exposes a person to complete self-isolation;
• a person with low self-esteem tends to fail; he ceases to monitor his health and appearance, which has a bad effect on later life; such manifestations can lead to complete detachment from oneself and even death.

If your self-esteem has dropped, then you should not give up. Improving your self-esteem will take time and a lot of mental strength, but it's worth it.

So, let's take a look at what needs to be done next.

• Get rid of the past environment... Perhaps this is how it influenced you. Therefore, on the advice of psychologists, reconsider your social circle. Leave only successful and positive people in it, and you should refuse friendship with the rest. If you feel that you have problems as a result of your professional activity, then change it. The work that only evokes negative emotions should not be present in your life. Otherwise, you will experience even greater disappointment and aggravation of a difficult situation.
• Try to treat yourself with respect. Don't let the people around you humiliate and insult you. If there are attacks in your direction, give a worthy rebuff. It is difficult, but possible.
• Do not evaluate your appearance and performance only from the negative side. Don't compare yourself to bankers and actors. Remember that each person has their own personal problems, and beautiful pictures skillfully hide them. So live your life and don't think about others.
• Affirmations are very helpful in making things right.... Think of an affirmative phrase for yourself (remember that in affirmations, phrases should only be affirmative), for example, this: "I became (a) better and more successful than everyone else." Say it before bed with your eyes closed as many times as you can. By the way, this method helps to fall asleep quickly. Thus, you will not only get rid of insomnia, but also raise your self-esteem with self-affirmations.
• If you have a problem, then don't run away from it. Take all the will in a fist and try to solve it as quickly as possible. Perhaps you were just screwing yourself up and were afraid that nothing would work out for you. Once you are convinced otherwise, you will become much more confident in your abilities.
• Try taking part in a self-esteem training session... Group sessions provide an opportunity to tune in to the positive. In addition, in such places you will meet like-minded people and, perhaps, your social circle will expand.
• Reading various scientific literature helps a person to raise self-esteem. When he broadens his horizons, he becomes interesting to society. In addition, through reading, you will strengthen the nervous system. And this will give you an impetus to new development and self-confidence.
• Sports activities - this is the most reliable way to get rid of uncertainty in your capabilities. On a run, you can meet other people who share your worldview. In addition, strengthening your health will give you the opportunity to resist negative factors with great force.
• Try keeping an Achievement Diary. In it you can record all your actions that led to success. If you suffer from a bad mood, then reread it. In this way, you make sure that your opportunities can give you a chance to move forward in life.
• Don't blame yourself for failure. Why did you decide that they were all your fault? Life is a pretty complicated thing. In it, nothing can be predicted in advance. And your mistakes are just your mistakes. Let negative experiences give you the opportunity to avoid mistakes in the future. Remember, negative experiences are also experiences that must be paid for.